the little acorn becomes the mighty oak
I finished the book last night. I don't even WANT to talk about it. At all. But i guess i should. So.................................... Half-Blood Prince, eh? EH? Yeah, nobody cares anymore, i know.

I... uhm... well... OH GOD, I'M DEPRESSED. See, i knew Dumbledore was going to die. I mean, it was pretty obvious. I was speculating with my younger brother the day before the book came out and asked if he thought it would happen, and he said that's what was going around on the internet (WHICH I HAD SO CAREFULLY AVOIDED). And i was panicked about being spoiled, but then once i started reading and Dumbledore actually came to the Dursleys' to fetch Harry? You knew it had to happen. They were so close in this book, and he was teaching Harry so much, preparing him-- it only makes sense for Harry's last guardian to be eliminated. That's the classic hero's journey. But OH GOD, IT WAS SAD.

It was very strange to see Dumbledore portrayed with weaknesses (the blackened hand, drinking the potion in the end-- oh man, i'll get to that part-- pleading for his life, which he wasn't really doing as he was not afraid of death, but it was sad anyway). He's always been so infallible, "The Only One He Ever Feared" and all that, it was just... it was really sad. I love how his bond with Harry was developed so much. They disagreed, Dumbledore became impatient with Harry, even angry, but still they respected and relied on each other. Harry having to force-feed him the potion in the cave was heartbreaking, lying to get him to drink it because he had promised, and then having to take charge because Dumbledore was weakened. That whole chapter was fuckin' creepy (INFERI!!!????!?!?!!!! Seriously, DUDE. As soon as that was explained in the beginning, i was like "ooooh shit, this is gonna be bad." HARRY POTTER ZOMBIES WTF?!?!??!) And then leading him out of the cave, and actually Apparating! HARRY! Dumbledore saying "I am not worried, Harry. I am with you." BROKE ME. ...literally, like, i think my spine... yeah. But how loyal they are! Harry's fierce, fierce loyalty to Dumbledore, even after he's gone-- continuing the mission, and telling off Scrimgeour-- "Dumbledore's man through and through." I NEED MORE TISSUES, THIS IS A MESS.

I really love Dumbledore, though. He's so awesome. He's so goofy and calm all the time, like he finds almost everything amusing or incredibly easy or completely expected, even when they're in the middle of all this serious shit. "Oh, surely not. So crude." HAH! The funeral made me cry and cry, especially Harry thinking of things that made him want to laugh, because... well, a happy funeral, that's so right. I want Harry to get to talk to his portrait in the office.

SNAPE'S the Half-Blood Prince?? You know, the whole book-- at least before Sectumsempra (which was pretty fucking horrifying, wasn't it? although the imagery of the blood and water in the bathroom was awesome.)-- i kept thinking Lily would turn out to be the Prince. As soon as Harry first followed what the book said and Slughorn told him how much like his mother he was, and then Hermione saying it could be a girl, that's what i thought. I guess it wouldn't make much sense, but... eh. Snape's parents' names were Eileen and Tobias? TOBIAS? ...Severus Fünke? He totally played triangle in the 100% Natural Good-Time Family-Band Solution! "There's no 'i' in 'levicorpus', at least not where you'd think..." Anyway. WTF SNAPE? The second chapter seriously freaked me out, because we saw Narcissa for the first time, and it introduced Draco's mission, and the Unbreakable Vow which allowed me to totally predict the ending, and i was like "AJDGJAGFHG THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND CHAPTER." And i'm so confused about Snape. It just mystifies me that we still don't know who he's playing! Obviously he killed Dumbledore and ran away, but he kind of... had to. JESUS. At this point, though, i do think he'll turn out to be good, because now everyone believes he's evil, and he's the least likeable good guy there could be, and it'll be so much better than "oh, he was despicable and ugly and greasy and mean all along, of course he's evil!". Probably the best double agent you could have, that Snape. He could teach Sydney Bristow a thing or two.

And Draco! He's always been such a one-dimensional little twat in canon, but you really did pity him when he was crying in the bathroom, and he couldn't kill Dumbledore. And i loved the line about Harry becoming obsessed with him, what was it... ahh. "Harry, however, had never been less interested in Quidditch; he was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy." It's so cute, JKR put something in for the little Harry/Draco shippers. :D

Speaking of shipping, i guess, uhhh, i can't avoid that subject forever. I was pretty angry for a while in, uhm, pretty much the whole middle section of the book. The part between... the front and the back covers. But now i'm okay with things, just because there's so much WORSE shit to worry about. Like, i dunno, TORTURE AND DEATH AND THE END OF THE WIZARDING WORLD. And it's funny, i don't ship Ron/Hermione or Harry/Ginny, and yet whenever a big romantic plot development happened, i got really excited! Ron hooking up with Lavender was awful (but also hilarious!). RONALD. LAVENDER BROWN?!?!? MY GOD. The whole big fight with Ginny beforehand was very shocking, as was Hermione's emotional turmoil (and CANARY ATTACK!) afterwards. Poor Hermione. Overall i was much more upset with all this Ginny nonsense, because Ron/Hermione at least had precedent. Ginny came out of NOWHERE. Honestly, if it hadn't been for fandom and all their certainty that it would happen, i would have been completely blindsided. Whose fucking idea was this? It's CRAP! I really loved Ginny after OotP, but in romantic connection with Harry, it just... it makes me very resentful. She comes off as so Mary-Sue-ish in this book. Oh, Ginny is so sarcastic and funny! Oh, Ginny is so pretty and all the boys like her! Oh, Ginny is so good at Quidditch! Oh, Ginny does a spectacular Bat-Bogey Hex! And then all of the sudden, at the funeral in the end, she's the one person who completely understands Harry? YEAH, OKAY. Still, still, i'm not all negative. When he finally kissed her, it was so surprising and spontaneous and cinematic! And how comfortable and happy they were together... i have to admit, it was cute. It's nice when Harry's happy. And Ron giving his approval was the best.

I am, however, glad Harry broke up with her, not because i ship H/Hr (honestly! HONESTLY!), but for the reason he did it-- he kind of has BIGGER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT. I'm fearful that they'll go back to each other once it's all over, though, assuming Harry lives (..........). But i just don't see how it can be anything other than H/Hr, in the long run. They've been through so much shit together that no one else has, and they respect and admire each other so much and... yeah. Ron/Hermione doesn't make sense to me. I ADORE Ron, i do, but i don't... really... get why Hermione likes him that way. They're obviously going to hook up, but they're so temperamental and volatile and they are not a functional couple, DON'T YOU SEE? I look at it kind of like the triangle on Lost-- Sawyer/Kate in the short-term, Jack/Kate in the long-term. Harry and Hermione are such equals, and i guess i like the couples that match. But they're not mature enough yet! Eventually, though, they'll get it. Pretty kids fooling around would be nice, but... theirs is an adult relationship, i think. Even though it's going to end up One Big Happy Weasley Family and i'm going to kill myself because JK Rowling turned out to be trite and boring, which can't be, it just can't! COME ON, how many high school relationships last till marriage? James and Lily, BIG DEAL.

Oh, one other thing i liked against my better shipping tendencies! When the whole R/Hr deal came to the forefront in the greenhouse scene and Hermione said she was going to ask Ron to Slughorn's Christmas party: "'You were going to ask me?' asked Ron, in a completely different voice. 'Yes,' said Hermione angrily. 'But obviously if you'd rather I hooked up with McLaggen...' ... 'No, I wouldn't,' said Ron, in a very quiet voice." Ron being so sincere! ADORABLE.

Anywhoooooooooooz. What else, what else... Ah, the Voldemort backstory was quite interesting. The stories about the dead rabbit, and the cave, and how he collected trophies... dude, that was FUCKING CREEPY. Tom, you are a scary motherfucker. And the Horcruxes! I was so amazed to learn that that's how he stayed alive. All the new details we learn in subsequent books always fit with the story so well. That Jo, she's pretty good! But man, Harry finding out the necklace wasn't the real Horcrux SUCKED. That was like him finding the mirror after Sirius died. NO GOOD. And, hey, R.A.B. = Regulus Black, right? I figured that right away, i thought it'd be revealed, but it wasn't!

TONKS AND LUPIN!! I am really, really, really fond of this. He was so Lupin, staring at the floor and saying he was too old and poor and she deserved someone whole, and McGonagall telling them "Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world" and OHMYGOD CRYING AGAIN. How it's all about the love, that's all it's ever been about, Harry and his parents, and the trio, and Sirius, and Dumbledore, and the Weasleys, and there are all these petty things in the middle but life's too short. And then holding hands at the funeral and Tonks back to her bright pink hair! I was shocked and delighted by this whole development. The whole time i thought Tonks was being Imperiused! (speaking of... Rosmerta! Who knew!)

The whole end, just like OotP, STRESSED ME OUT. Harry tripping over bodies and slipping in blood while curses are flying everywhere-- NOT ENJOYABLE. And i was so worried about where the hell Hermione was. That Fenrir Greyback is an unpleasant fellow, isn't he? Poor Bill. And still, you know, the scene in the cave with the potion actually got to me more than when Snape killed Dumbledore. It was just so agonizing, whereas the actual murder was over so quickly that the aftermath was much more resonant (Hagrid not believing Harry; seeing the body; Ron saying that Dumbledore would be able to fix Bill's wounds, without knowing what had happened). And Harry going after Snape and not being able to finish a single curse, it was so hopeless.

Harry breaks my heart and i love him SO MUCH. From the very beginning, when he was talking about Sirius with Dumbledore-- "I realized I can't shut myself away, or-- or crack up. Sirius wouldn't have wanted that, would he? And anyway, life's too short...." He's had to grow up so fast, and watch so many people he loves die. Sirius, Dumbledore (while mute and immobile! HOW FUCKING TRAUMATIZING CAN IT GET??), even his parents, although he doesn't remember it. And now going off on his own (but not on his own because he has RON AND HERMIONE!!) and he's had to be so brave and face so much danger while still being a moody, hormonal teenager, and the worst is still yet to come... GAH. He'll never just be a kid, ever, and that's so, so sad. And now he's prepared to go off on his own, make the journey and destroy the Horcruxes, and i was so unbelievably happy that Ron and Hermione wouldn't let him go without them. I'm so worried, of course, because BAD THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN, but... the trio! The friendship and trust and loyalty and partnership! They're the heart of everything, and i cannot even describe how much i love them. It'll be so funny for them to be together at the Dursleys'. And, dude, so they're just... not going back to Hogwarts? I wondered how it would work, them going to school while a WAR is going on, but not going back at ALL? That's weird!

I don't like making sentences anymore! Here are some more things i liked!

- Kingsley Shacklebolt as secretary to the Muggle Prime Minister.
- Harry Apparating for the first time ever.
- Harry finally, finally remembering that you can't Apparate or Disapparate at Hogwarts after Hermione has said it a billion times. :D Ahhh, Hogwarts, A History.
- Harry and Hermione versus Ron and Ginny in backyard Quidditch. (Hermione's dreadful! hah!)
- Harry becoming Quidditch Captain! I was so proud!
- WEASLEYS' WIZARD WHEEZES (Harry gets stuff free! Fred and George, the consummate businessmen! Thinking of buying Zonko's! U-NO-POO AHAHAHAHAHAHHAA)
- Holy shit, Blaise Zabini has an identity.
- Snape finally got the Defense Against the Dark Arts position! GAAAAH!
- Luna doing Quidditch commentary, and Ron loving it. AND Harry enjoying Luna at Slughorn's party (and she looked nice!). I love how she's grown on everyone.
- Ron's handlebar mustache in Transfiguration. I laughed so hard. "'She laughed at my mustache!' 'So did I, it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen.'"
- The Pensieve. That thing is just cool.
- Harry cheating by using the Half-Blood Prince, and Hermione cheating by confunding McLaggen. The good kids have fallen!
- "The Boy Who Scored"
- The "My Sweetheart" necklace from Lavender. It was like on Friends, when Joey gave Chandler the "Best Buds" bracelet! "Yeah it's, it's a little flashy." "No no no, not flashy, not for a Goodfella."
- AHAHAHAHAHAA, ROMILDA VANE. She amused me.
- "Yeah, well, passing over Fred's left buttock--"
- Apparition lessons are so totally driver's ed for wizards.
- Felix Felicis, that stuff's pretty cool! I think i had a dream last night where i had drank some, actually...
- Neville and Luna's loyalty to the D.A., and Harry being so fond of them because they had helped in the battle at the end. (and dude, where the HELL was Neville this entire book? He was in maybe a total of five lines. I love Neville! Bring him back!)
- Harry hurriedly saying goodbye to Ron and Hermione before he left with Dumbledore, giving them instructions and the Felix. It was so rushed and Harry was so take-charge.
- Hagrid being attacked but coming out okay! He really is a formidable figure. And Fang made it! Whew. I like Fang.
- Hermione hugging Harry.
- Seamus refusing to go home before Dumbledore's funeral.
- Bill just likes rare steaks now. Hah!
- "I thought she wasn't much of a looker." Oh, RON. I love you.

Why am i still typing? Who the hell is ever going to read all of this? I didn't even want to talk about it in the first place! What the HELL. I suppose i'm a little more adjusted now and a little less traumatized. A LITTLE. I GUESS.

...............

DUMBLEDOOOOOOOOORE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! HAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, because delusional, obnoxious 'shipping is totally all the rage, didn't you know, here are a bunch of H/Hr moments that i liked.

"Oh well, never mind that now!" said Hermione hastily. "Harry, oh, Harry..."
She sat down on the edge of his bed again. (98)

Harry was so disarmed that she had thought his words as well worth memorizing as The Standard Book of Spells that he did not argue. (181)

Hermione turned to Harry with a radiant expression and whispered, "Did you really tell him I'm the best in the year? Oh, Harry!" (186)

"Oh, come on, Harry," said Hermione, suddenly impatient. "It's not Quidditch that's popular, it's you! You've never been more interesting, and frankly, you've never been more fanciable."
Ron gagged on a large piece of kipper. Hermione spared him one look of disdain before turning back to Harry.
"Everyone knows you've been telling the truth now, don't they? The whole Wizarding world has had to admit that you were right about Voldemort being back and that you really have fought him twice in the last two years and escaped both times. And now they're calling you 'the Chosen One' -- well, come on, can't you see why people are fascinated by you?"
Harry was finding the Great Hall very hot all of a sudden, even though the ceiling still looked cold and rainy.
"And you've been through all that persecution from the Ministry when they were trying to make out you were unstable and a liar. You can still see the marks on the back of your hand where that evil woman made you write with your own blood, but you stuck to your story anyway...."
"You can still see where those brains got hold of me in the Ministry, look," said Ron, shaking back his sleeves.
"And it doesn't hurt that you've grown about a foot over the summer either," Hermione finished, ignoring Ron.
"I'm tall," said Ron inconsequentially. (219)

"No," said Harry. "No, I suppose that's true. But wasn't that dishonest, Hermione? I mean, you're a prefect, aren't you?"
"Oh, be quiet," she snapped, as he smirked.
"What are you two doing?" demanded Ron, reappearing in the doorway to the Great Hall and looking suspicious.
"Nothing," said Harry and Hermione together, and they hurried after Ron. (232)

She looked scandalized. Bending low so that only Harry could hear her, she hissed, "You should be expelled for that. I'd never have believed it of you, Harry!"
"Hark who's talking," he whispered back. "Confunded anyone lately?" (293)

"Hermione?"
He found her in the first unlocked classroom he tried. She was sitting on the teacher's desk, alone except for a small ring of twittering yellow birds circling her head, which she had clearly just conjured out of midair. Harry could not help admiring her spellwork at a time like this. (301)

"It's not my fault she's barking mad, Hermione. Or d'you think she overheard you being rude about Filch? I've always thought there might be something going on between them...."
"Oh, ha ha..."
Enjoying the fact that they could speak normally again, they made their way along the deserted, lamp-lit corridors back to the common room, arguing about whether or not Filch and Madam Pince were secretly in love with each other. (308)

She raced out of the classroom on the bell, leaving half her things behind; Harry, deciding that her need was greater than Ron's just now, scooped up her remaining possessions and followed her. (310)

And the rest of the evening passed amicably with both of them abusing the Minister of Magic, for Hermione, like Ron, thought that after all the Ministry had put Harry through the previous year, they had a great deal of nerve asking him for help now. (354)

"It didn't look funny at all!" said Hermione hotly. "It looked terrible and if Coote and Peakes hadn't caught Harry he could have been very badly hurt!" (424)

"Thanks a lot, Hermione," said Harry, giving her a hasty pat on the back as he checked his watch and saw that it was nearly eight o'clock. (426)